Wow! I didn't realize how fast 6 minutes went. Every section in your story made me feel the life of a ninety year old, and reflect back at today and see what I am doing wrong. Not chasing after dreams - that is fine - but sometimes losing my mind and self-compassion chasing after dreams - that's not fine - coz in the end, peace and self-compassion are what matter.. I am sorry for all the losses you've had to endure, and happy for you that you find joy and contentment in what you have and who you are. I wish you very healthy and happy nineties. May you continue to be able to do whatever it is that makes you want to get out of bed and get going.