So sorry about your loss. Losing a parent is terribly hard. And the fact that you shared the burden alone for a year made it so much harder for you. I can't even begin to imagine how you must have ensured it all. I hope you will start to feel better slowly.. Also, I'm not aware of your family circumstances, so my comment may not be relevant in your case, but maybe it makes sense for others in the family to also know about the circumstances earlier, so that they can help in any way they can, and they have their chances of spending the final moments with their loved ones and saying their goodbyes. Maybe the environment was not right in your family. Sorry if that was the case and if my comment causes you any hurt. I was just concerned about how hard it must have been for you to manage to get your father through all the treatment and care procedures while keeping this secret.