I am so so sorry for every thing you went through in 20 years of marriage. You are right - every story has two sides. And I'm pretty sure your husband has his version to defend his position. But many times, one side of the story is so under-rated, so under-valued. It looks like you did everything you could and gave up when there was truly nothing left for you to try. It does sound like you had some good times in your marriage, and I hope those nice memories are what remain with you, while the negative experiences gradually heal with time. It takes tremendous courage to take a decision as big as divorce, especially when you are the ideal modern couple and when you have young children whom you want to provide the best family environment. I wish you courage, strength, hope and love for the rest of your life.